HypoFixx

In March 2000, I moved to New York City to start a new chapter of my life. All I had was a handful of songs, a rough idea of what I wanted and absolutely no clue where to start. At this point, I did not know anything beyond playing drums. I had a vague production background from recording with my last band but I was still very inexperienced. I spent the next two years learning how to play guitar, writing songs and developing what would ultimately become one of the most sonically destructive forces known to man. When my debut album was released in March 2003, I had already started to assemble a live band to help perform the material. The better part of that year was dedicated to auditioning members, booking and rehearsing for my first round of shows. This was no easy task. In fact, it was brutal. The biggest pressure I had was living up to the impression my album had given people. After having two videos broadcast internationally, promoters demanded that I pack rooms and draw big when the reality of it was that I had not even made a name for myself. I had somehow created this false level of expectation for people, and now it was time to deliver. Keeping my head above water was overwhelming and nearly impossible. The intensity of live performances took its toll on my band members as well. The line up consisted of A.D. (drums), Rath (keyboards) and myself. By the end of 2003, Rath had left, and I was derailed for another six months auditioning his replacement. The results were grim, and I had lost all faith in myself. I decided then and there that I had wasted enough time and money, disbanding was my remaining option. That is, until Gina called me. When I picked up the phone, I was immediately overtaken by a personality so alive that I was miraculously revived into perseverance. After an extensive conversation with her, my world was turned upside down, and my vision was once again clear. She fit in naturally as my new bass player, and over time she has become a very good friend to me. Her energy and loyalty to this project has been unprecedented, and for this I am enternally grateful. We all played a second round of shows together at the beginning of 2004, A.D. on drums, Gina on bass and myself on guitar. We then took the rest of the year off to step away and recover. When it was time to pick up again in November, I had asked Gina's fiance, pTER, to join the band as my second guitarist. Everything was rolling smoothly until February 2005 when A.D. informed me he was quitting. I did not take this well. Another six months futilely passed as I looked for A.D.'s replacement. Once I realized how vain my efforts had become, I defaulted to a backing track for the drums. While this went against my better judgement, I had to continue performing. Much to my surprise, the electronic drums gave the band a better live sound, and soon thereafter we were back on the road. Gina, pTER and I played a third round of shows this way until, without warning, pTER quit. With two shows remaining, I, again, was left to find a replacement. Luckily I had made enough band friends over the years to have them step up and fill in during my hours of need. Mindcage from the band Mindless Faith became pTER's replacement, and we played our final show for the Live Mechanical Destruction tour in Washington, D.C. on November 17, 2005 at Nation. After everything that had happened, that show was like coming home to a family that had been there for me each step of the way. It was the best performance of my life and the perfect way to end this tour. I will never forget that night. Now with all of the fame, success, tragedy and recovery behind me, I find myself back to square one, asking myself the same questions. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? The answer? I don't know. We'll see what happens.