Mary J. Blige |
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Wed. March 05.2003 1:10 PM EST |
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Mary J. Blige and Shirley Manson: It Takes TwoMusician/activists discuss how AIDS and HIV infection still impact an incredible amount of lives. Both agree that no shag is worth a death sentence. by Brian Ives |
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Shirley Manson and Mary J. Blige (VH1.com) |
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They're two of our most iconic singers, and they've got something to tell you. Mary J. Blige has been a key African-American voice ever since her 1992 debut What's the 911? introduced a distinctive mix of old school grit and ghetto philosophy.
Both women come from different sides of the street - Mary was raised in the housing projects of Yonkers, N.Y., and Manson comes from Edinburgh, Scotland - but they've become unlikely allies in the fight against AIDS. Along with Elton John and a host of concerned teenagers, they've made a series of HIV-awareness ads, which are now airing on VH1, MTV and BET. More than two decades after the first reported case, HIV refuses to go away and there still is no cure. One in every 250 Americans is infected. Mary J. and Shirley sat down with VH1 to discuss learning to love yourself, kids who look to them for advice, and why there will never be a shag good enough to risk your life for. VH1: Do you think kids look to you as role models? Mary J. Blige: I once had this little girl say to me, "Mary, I want to be just like you when I grow up." That stuck with me forever! I was like, "Gosh, this little girl is watching me. So if I'm in the public eye and messing up, she's still going to want to be like me. I have to be careful with what I do." I can't raise people's children for them, but I can definitely do a little bit. Their parents allow them to buy my records. The least I can do is watch their ears. [Watch Clip] Shirley Manson: You have a sense of responsibility up to a point. I don't believe that anybody should live their life according to the way that I lived mine. It may not be appropriate to them. At the same time, if we can help at least one person protect themselves while indulging in casual sex, then fantastic. VH1: Is there a difference in the way AIDS is perceived in Europe and the U.S.? Manson: Definitely. America is a little more - I'm trying to use a polite word here - repressed in terms of openly discussing sexuality and sexual practices. If people were a little more educated about the risks they face during casual sex, they might be savvier. But it's very closeted here. VH1: Is there less awareness about AIDS now then there was five years or ten years ago? Blige: Five or ten years ago, AIDS was a big deal. Now we have a new generation that don't even know what it is, because no one's speaking about it any more. Right now, all they know is the war and Bin Laden and blah blah blah. They don't know anything about this monster that's silently killing everyone. VH1: AIDS has become so much part of mainstream discourse, people don't seem to take it seriously any more. Manson: That comes from a lack of education. When you're young you have no sense of mortality and you feel that there's no way in hell you're ever going to get hurt. Young people are probably laughing out of nervousness or obliviousness. What these PSAs are trying to do is say, "You actually are at risk, but there is something you can do about it. It doesn't need to hamper your lifestyle or your choices. You just have to take care of your body." VH1: In the PSAs, you've used real teenagers. They don't look any more attractive than the kids who will probably watch them. Manson: Well, of course, more attractive and less attractive is in the eye of the beholder! People who refuse to take precautions with regards to their sexual behavior tend to have low self-esteem. One of the self-esteem issues that affect young people is this media fixation with looking perfect. They look at images in magazines. They're unaware that these images are digitally altered and airbrushed. They see celebrities on VH1 on a daily basis who have botoxed their foreheads and collagened their lips. You're not looking at a real picture of what makes a person interesting. So teenagers beat themselves up because they don't look perfect or because they have a chubby butt. That exacerbates people's lack of self-esteem. Blige: It's about the love for yourself, basically. You've got to have some kind of love for yourself in order to be protective of anything that you have. If you don't love your body and you don't protect yourself, nobody else will. Manson: A lot of young people take risks, because they feel that will make the partner want to be with them. They don't want to put up any barriers to having intimacy with somebody, which of course is really ludicrous. But it takes you a while to realize that if somebody doesn't want to protect their body and yours then really, what are you sharing your body with them for? VH1: Sometimes people are wary of celebrities like Bono and Sting preaching to them. Does that worry you? Blige: In my life, the opinions of others don't matter any more. That's what saved my life - not worrying about what you think or what you think. I don't care what you think, because I need to live. We need to focus on examples like Sting and Bono. That's what's going to save a bunch of people - someone stepping up and saying "I'll help out." That's what Shirley's here for. That's what I'm here for. To say, "Wrap it up! Think! Love yourself! Do something!" Manson: I lived through it, too. I had an AIDS scare myself. When I went in for the test, I decided right there, "I'm dead." I got hysterical and remember thinking, "Was that shag - as we would say in Scotland - so good that I risked my entire life for it?" No it wasn't! [Laughs.] Even if it had been the best lay of my life, it certainly isn't worth risking my entire life for. Coming from a female standpoint - and I can't believe I'm saying this on VH1, but I'm going to say it anyway - I couldn't tell whether a man really had a condom on or not, during the actual act ... look! Mary's looking horrified! Like, stop! Stop Shirley! You're going to regret this. [Watch Clip] Blige: You probably saved a bunch of women out there! Just with what you said, you'll probably make so many women in the world check when they weren't checking before! Manson: [Laughs.] "Wait a minute! Let me have a look at that!" VH1: What kind of bond do you think you have with your audience? Blige: I feel obliged to my fans to be honest with them. If I don't want to tell you, I won't tell you. I won't lie to you about it. Like right now I'm experiencing love from a man for real for the very first time in my life. It's really nice. So I'm gonna share that with the women, but I'm also gonna share that even when you're in love, you still have those days when it's not perfect. I'm obligated to let them know that I know there's a lot of you out there that still don't love yourself and you're going through this and that and the other, but the only way to get free is to love yourself. VH1: What do you do to make yourself different from everybody else? Blige: What makes me different is just that I'm Mary. I'm not trying to please anyone. I have to respect you and to a certain extent cater to you, but if it's going to make me unhappy, it won't happen. Even when I was a hater on myself, I was still careful with the things that I did. I didn't do anything stupid just because I thought I could because I was Mary J. Blige the singer. Manson: Mary's doing herself a disservice. What distinguishes Mary from a lot of her peers is that when she sings you hear the sound of her whole life. She's not picked somebody else's song and read the lyrics like a robot. Pure soul singers come along so rarely in life, but Mary's one of them. That's why she's been revered from the day she came out. Blige: Thank you, Shirley. Manson: And she's just an all-around swell girl! [Laughs.] [Watch Clip] VH1: Shirley, what do you do to try and be different? With Garbage, you came into a real boy's club. Blige: That's hard ... to be a chick that you are in an all-male band? You're not looking like them. You're looking hot every single [minute]. Your hair is always hot. You always look really good. Manson: [Laughs.] You don't have to be nice to me just because I was nice to you. Blige: Come on! You know I'm not kissing your ass! Manson: No, I know. It's true. If only you would! [Laughs] Blige: She's always beautiful in the videos. She's always drop dead gorgeous in the videos. If anyone ever didn't ever see a Garbage video, please look for that, because you will get some hair ideas, some make-up tips, and some clothes tips. You may be wearing suspenders! [Watch Clip] |
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