So now that the entire planet has seen Paris Hilton’s camera-phone pictures, browsed through her phone book, and read her Sidekick messages, I think it’s time that we all ask ourselves this: Are we finally done with Paris? I mean, what’s left? What else can we possibly find out about this girl? We know everything from her best friend’s digits to her favorite sexual position, what else do we need to know?
I think it’s an individual decision, though, to determine if you’re done with Paris. So, in order to help you figure out if you’re ready to move on or not, I came up with 10 questions that you have to ask yourself. Answer them honestly, and by the end you should be able to determine if you’ve had enough of Paris.
1) Have you ever seen a picture of Paris Hilton naked? Sorry, I should rephrase that; How many naked pictures of Paris Hilton have you seen?
2) Have you ever seen Paris in night vision?
3) Have you scrolled through Paris Hilton’s T-Mobile phone book? Have you called any of the numbers? Are you calling one of the numbers right now as you’re reading this? Which one are you calling?
4) Do you say "that’s hot" in casual conversation?
5) Do you have a favorite part of the E! True Hollywood Story: The Hilton Sisters?
6) Have you ever uttered the phrase, "Sorry, can’t talk, The Simple Life is on!" Or even, "Sorry, can’t talk, One Night In Paris is on!"
7) When you travel, do you try to stay at the Hilton just so you can say that you were "totally inside a Hilton"?
8) Did you read Paris’s book? Seriously, did you? We won’t tell anybody, just be honest. Did you read Paris’s book? If so, what the hell were you thinking?
9) Are you going to purchase Paris’s album when it comes out? Seriously, are you? If so, what the hell will you be thinking?
10) And finally, do you think that you’ve had enough of Paris Hilton?
So, how’d you do? If it turns out that you do, in fact, still love Paris and that you haven’t had enough of her, then your best bet may be to get a shot of penicillin and consult a psychologist immediately. And more importantly, put down your T-Mobile phone and stop calling Bijou Phillips at once– that can only hurt you.