Happy Day After St. Patrick’s Day. How’s your head feeling?
Yeah. Mine too.
Right now I’m sure many of you are probably thinking, "I’m never going to drink again." That, and "I wonder if another shower would make me feel any better," too (the answer is usually ‘yes,’ but only marginally). Well, since going out and drinking probably doesn’t sound too appealing right now, I thought I’d run through a couple of movies that are opening up this weekend and review them. Of course, I haven’t actually seen any of these movies, and I’m actually not too sure what most of them are about, but I still think I can figure it out based on the tag lines.
The Ring 2 – "Fear comes full circle." Get it? Because it’s a… ring… and rings are circles. Brilliant. I think this is the studio’s way of saying, "Okay, I know you saw the first Ring and you were like ‘what the hell is going on here?’ Well, this time it actually makes sense. I promise. Well, I don’t promise promise. How about you just give me $10 and find out for yourself." Well, I’m not going to fall for it again, you Ring producers you. Forget it.
Ice Princess – "Big things happen to those who dream big." That means that Michelle Trachtenberg wins in the end. Not just the big competition, and not just the heart of the boy she likes… but in life, too. It’s a feel good story. So if you want to feel good, don’t go see this movie because it’ll probably make you puke.
Melinda & Melinda – "Life can be a comedy or a tragedy, it all depends on how you look at it." It’s never a good sign when I can’t even get through the tag line without getting bored. Sorry Woody.
Well, it looks like I’ll be drinking after all. It’s your fault, Hollywood.