we have a winner


Jonathan_davis Korn’s Jonathan Davis and his pornstar wife have named their newborn son… wait for it… Pirate. Yep. Pirate. Of course, it makes perfect sense considering the kid was born with one eye and a wooden leg, but still. I guess we finally have an answer to what happens when you mix Sex, Drugs, and Rock N Roll. You come up with Pirate.

Are celebrities even trying anymore? Or are they just naming their kids the first word that pops into their heads? Let’s look at the recent crop of celebrity kids:

  • Pirate — Jonathan Davis & Deven
  • Apple — Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
  • Coco – Courtney Cox & David Arquette
  • Phinnaeus — Julia Roberts & Some Dude
  • Hazel – Julia Roberts & Some Dude again
  • Audio Science — Shannyn Sossamon & Some other Dude
  • Pilot Inspektor — Jason Lee & his fiance
  • Seven Sirius — Andre 3000 & Erykah Badu
  • Prince Michael I & Prince Michael II — Michael Jackson… sorta

It’s official, I’m naming my kid Blog. As long as he hangs out with Pirate and Coco he shouldn’t get teased too much.

I kind of hope that 20 years from now Gwyneth and Chris’ kid marries Jason Lee’s kid so she can become Mrs. Apple Inspektor. One can only dream.

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