Pie in the Face



In 1999 American Pie hit the screen and everybody immediately went crazy over the young, hot cast of Hollywood newcomers. The movie launched a dozen careers (if you include the guy from Harold & Kumar and the girl that went on to star in a soap opera), but it also seems like it has taken a toll on several of the actors. Just check out this list. I’m calling it "The Curse of Pie" (because I’m not good at coming up with names for lists. But here it goes anyway.)

Chris Klein - Was engaged to Katie Holmes, but that fell apart. Currently facing charges for drunk driving. But honestly, wouldn’t you be drinking too once you came to the realization that you’ll never get to sleep with Katie Holmes ever again?

Shannon Elizabeth - Recently got divorced from husband Jason Reitman. And, more importantly, has NOT removed a single article of clothing on film in 6 years. What’s that all about???

Natasha Lyonne - First of all, I don’t think anybody ever really considered her a real cast member because she was barely in the first movie, right? Well, that must’ve eaten her up inside– the girl has SNAPPED. Right now there’s a warrant out for her arrest for skipping out on a court date. Oh, and why was she supposed to be in court? Because she threatened to molest her neighbor’s dog. I’m not even going ask… I’m not even going to ask…

Sean William Scott & Alyson Hannigan- They both stuck around for American Wedding. If they’re not careful they’re going to end up like Mr. Belding and Screech in "Saved by the Bell: The New Class." I’m just saying it’s time to move on, that’s all.

The Guy who played Finch & The Kid from Rookie of the Year - I heard they dropped out of acting and now they’re running a 7-11 together in Columbus, Ohio. Okay, I didn’t actually hear that, I’m just assuming. But you have to admit, it doesn’t sound that far fetched.

Mena Suvari - She’s gone from the Academy Award winning American Beauty to Beauty Shop. Somebody should tell her that just because a movie has the word "beauty" in it, that doesn’t mean it’s definitely going to be good.

Jason BiggsSaving Silverman. Boys and Girls. Loser. Prozac Nation. Anything Else. Jersey Girl. Just tell me when to stop…

Tara Reid - If you actually need me to list the reasons, clearly you have stumbled upon this site by accident. But just for fun, I’ll leave you with this:


I think that sort of sums everything up in a nipple. I mean a nutshell. Okay, I’m just going to stop writing now– you get the idea.

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