Quick Hits

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Orlando_bloomColdplay will kick off a 36-City tour this August. Chris Martin looks forward to impregnating groupies in each city and naming them after pieces of produce to give Apple fruity friends to play with.

Jason Priestley got married in the Bahamas over the weekend. Sadly, NOT to Emily Valentine.

A Robin Williams impersonator has agreed to stop acting like Robin Williams after a lawsuit was filed against him. He’s sad that he will no longer be able to make money off the gig, but he’s excited that now people might actually be able to tolerate being around him.

MTV has announced that they will air a new reality show starring RUN DMC’s Reverend Run. Adidas stock is expected to soar.

Orlando Bloom said he perfected his acting skills by pretending to act like a lizard. In a related story, Josh Hartnett revealed that he perfected his by acting like a rock.

Lindsay Lohan to star in Mission Impossible 3? That’s un-possible!