Morning Quick Hits: Bow down before the one you serve. You’re going to get what you deserve

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Burger_hilton

Don’t like Paris Hilton’s Carl’s Jr. Ad ? Well fine, I suppose you and your burger hating self can sign this petition to Carl Karcher Enterprises to stop airing it. Apparently it was started by someone named N. Richie.  Hmm…. I wonder…. In other Paris related news, she would just like everyone to know that she is not a "spoilt brat", so step off.

George Lucas
finds himself a script for Indiana Jones 4. I’m so excited! I wonder how Lucas is going to find a way to ruin another amazing movie franchise from my childhood!!! I can hardly wait to see!

Lindsay Lohan’s fender bender
with the paparazzi leaves her unharmed and slightly rattled. Herbie unavailable for comment.

In more interesting news Lohan’s boobie shrinkage couldn’t have had… like…. anything to… like… do with natural body fat loss or like…anything.

Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails is almost $3 Million dollars richer today after winning a court case against his ex-manager, John Malm. Reznor plans on using the money to find new ways to alienate himself from people.

The Daily Dish is all about the heartbreak today, folks. Let’s see, we got Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt staying in separate hotels, a Hilton/Lohan/Richie tug of war,  and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher are laughing at us.
P_diddy
Cashing in on those awkward teenage years is getting easier. Case in point: P Diddy making $3 Million dollars off of his bad acne. That’s the most money anybody’s made off of acne since Zack Morris sold bogus pimple cream to all of Bayside in Saved by The Bell.

Will  Smith and his wife Jada Pinket Smith believe the key to a happy marriage is having sexual relations with whoever you fancy, because you shouldn’t avoid "what’s natural". Right. Got it. Having sex with your co-workers is totally natural. It’s all coming together now… too bad Jennifer Aniston didn’t get the memo.

Meanwhile, Eva Longoria and her boxes and boxes of vibrators are doing just fine without the Smith’s advice.

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