Afternoon Linkage: Love Nests, Live 8, and Lying To Your Wife

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Ellen_and_portiaDenise Richards gave birth to a baby girl. Her name is Lola….she was a showgirl. With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there She would merengue and do the cha-cha…

Must be nice to be an ugly famous guy. Benicio Del Toro was paid $5million to do nothing - when a film was canceled.

HELP ME, help YOU! It hasn’t even been a month in the TomKat relationship and the over-protective Tom Cruise has already started calling the shots, starting with telling  Katie Holmes she should not star in "Factory Girls" because it features drug use, offends Scientologists and is one more movie than he has coming out this year.

Ellen DeGeneres and girlfriend Portia De Rossi have bought Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s Beverly Hills home and promise to start making it a love shack again in no time.

Singer Kylie Minogue  get’s the special superstar treatment even before dying hospital patients. Oh…Oh it’s good to be rich.

Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry admits he hasn’t been laid in 1 year and probably knows nothing about sex or even women for that matter. Hmmphht. I could have told you that…starting with the fact that real women eat food.

The domain names for porn sites will soon end in .xxx instead of .com. In other news, the ‘x’ key on my keyboard will now be getting used more than ever before.

Live 8 London has been criticized for being “hideously white.” Meanwhile Live 8 Philadelphia has been criticized for being “hilariously ironic.” My fingers are crossed for a Bon Jovi, 50 Cent, and Stevie Wonder cover of “Do They Know its Christmas?”

Anna Kournikova loves to see women swoon over beau Enrique Iglesias. And Enrique Iglesias loves to have sex with Anna Kournikova. No pun, just truth.

David Hasselhoff has won again. His two year holdout has paid off. A movie based on “Knight Rider” has finally been greenlit, and yes, it will include a talking car. Some big-ups wanted to silence KITT, but Hasselhoff said, “It’s stupid, there’s no film without a talking car.” Sadly, it’s unlikely that that was the first time that phrase was uttered in Hollywood.

…and last but not least,  Britney Spears would once again like to tell us about her sex life. Cover your ears kiddies, she think sex is better now that she’s pregnant. Tune into "Chaotic" to hear all about it!