Morning Quick Hits: Party Girls, Clowns and Magicians

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Lohan may be done with the partying, but the partying ain’t done with her. Whatever you say Ms. Blowhan.

Hollywood is just as sick of celebrity romance as we are, but breaking up with the paparazzi is harder than it looks.

In order to win Americans back to the Democratic party, Kerry releases his college transcripts to prove he’s no smarter than Bush. D’s stand for distinction, says Kerry.
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spent the winter months with Hanz and Franz. He’s here to pump your kids up. That was one delicious piece of girly-man.

Meanwhile, Nelson Mandela spreads his AIDS to the Artic. WHAT? OH…oh…AIDS message. AIDS MESSAGE. Not AIDS. Whew. I was worried for a second. Mandela spreads AIDS message to the Arctic.

Goodbye Mrs. Robinson. Cinema’s first MILF, Anne Bancroft died of uterine cancer on Monday at Mount Sinai Hospital.   

Go ahead and call him crazy, Michael Jackson wont go anywhere without his personal magician, Majestik Magnificent. I wish I could take credit for coming up with that name, but unfortunately that’s actually what he calls himself. Only in my nightmares could I be that creative.

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Eminem has a crush on the hot spice girl and not the one who looks awful naked.

And now for something truly horrible:

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Avril Lavigne sings "Chop Suey" by System Of a Down
And for her next trick, Avril sings selections from Bolt Thrower.

gah.

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Only Angelina Jolie could make leather look both classy and hot. You can find more Mr. and Mrs. Smith Los Angeles premiere pictures here.

and last but most definitely not least, you can now buy your favorite Amish Clothes online. The online clothing shop is aptly named "Plainly Dressed". With a nice pair of oversized sunglasses, I could see an Olsen or two sporting this classic yet chic style.