morning quick hits – Tomkat engaged, Jolie bad in bed?



Tom Cruise proposes to Katie Holmes at the Eiffel Tower, the only structure in the world bigger than his ego. Naturally she said yes. Her programming is complete.

Engagement ring photos:



The world is over as we know it is over. Last week’s TV ratings prove that Americans love ballroom dancing and Charlie Sheen.

Brad Pitt denies cheating on his ex-wife with Angelina Jolie. Meanwhile Billy Bob Thorton compares sex with Angelina Jolie like sex with a couch. In other news, the world is flat.

Queen Elizabeth got herself an iPod, and I got her pegged for a closet Tool fan. Anyone? Bets? Boy George? …Prince? Queens of the Stone age? I could go on…but I wont. Maybe some Queen? Okay, I’m done.

Michael Jackson is considering leaving the US for good. He has developed a taste for "Thai"…

Britney Spears thinks she is a prophet. Which is cute because she used to think she was a singer.

Batmobile hit by drunk driver. Christian Bale forgot to activate Bat Thrusters.

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