Leo attacked by a crazy woman? Cameron attacked by a model? Tom attacked by a microphone? You know, being a celebrity is like so not even worth it anymore. You can keep your $20 million paychecks, I’m out of here.
Ben Affleck and girlfriend J-Gar "are not in West Virginia. They did not get married yesterday. They did not get married today." Affleck’s spokesperson went on to add, "Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. Or the day after that," before eventually passing out.
CIA Director Porter Goss has an "excellent idea" where Osama bin Laden is hiding. On Friday Goss also had an "excellent idea" that Batman Begins would top the box office, so this guy obviously knows his s***.
Julian Casablancas compares the next Strokes album to a "seedless watermelon." Presumably one that hasn’t been washed.
Luke & Owen Wilson were honored in Hawaii. Owen apologizes in advance for "Wedding Crashers."
Finally, Carmen Electra insists she’s not a nymphomaniac. Because nymphomaniacs go to meetings.