Morning Quick Hits: Snack Edition – Coke, Apples, Doritos And Circus Midgets

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Heres_johnny

Jack Nicholson, not a dull boy, rewrites his threesome scene in the upcoming Scorsese film The Departed. "Jack didn’t feel there was enough Jack in his character" and apparently "Jack" involves snorting cocaine off a partner’s buttocks and dildos!

Tom Cruise‘s squirt-happy pranksters are out on bail and promised to sacrifice their water guns over to Xenu as a peace offering, immediately.

Chris Martin is honoring his baby Apple, by getting a tattoo of her name. Strange, usually when I honor apples I just go ahead and take a big bite out of the middle…

Saddam Hussein is addicted to Doritos and thinks fondly of Ronald Reagan.

…I got nothing for that last one. So I will just carry on with the links.

Cardinal Sin dies, Satan surrenders.

Fg_evil_monkey

Family Guy movie will be released straight to DVD September 27th. Oh that is freakin’ smurf. That is freakin’ smurf 

PETA tries to stop Shrine Circus.  Next on list:  Santa Claus and his reindeer.

DNA on McDonald’s Burgers link 3 men to a robbery. Sample said to be found in the special sauce…

Harry says Sally can’t fake ‘em anymore. Here comes the science.

Cannabis-based painkiller now available in Canada.  Side effects include munchies, urge to listen to Jimi Hendrix.

Japanese inventors unveil ultra-lifelike robot. In other news, Rick Deckard was arrested at a sushi stand, reportedly brought in for one last job.