How to celebrate our Independence



From: The Phat Phree

Now I rarely plan a day fully, but since this is my favorite holiday of the year, I have an agenda set that I’d like to share with you. I encourage you to follow this as close as possible, and I guarantee that you will have a magical and wonderful Independence Day!

9:17 am – Wake up, probably feeling a slight bit hung over from the previous night’s shenanigans. Recite the Pledge of Allegiance loud enough for the entire neighborhood to hear.

9:20 am – Take a nice cold shower, listening to Lee Greenwoods Greatest Hits, which I made myself, which is just “God Bless the USA” on repeat. Immediately iron American Flag print polo, navy shorts when I get out of shower.

10:00 am – Head to the convenience store to get beer. Stand in beer section pondering the purchase of either Budweiser or Busch. No “lite” products will be considered on this day. Decide to get a case of each. Call woman in store a Communist for purchasing Smirnoff Ice. [Keep reading]

Ah, I love it when a plan comes together. Have a happy 4th of July weekend everybody. Enjoy the fireworks, enjoy the bbq’s, enjoy the Live 8, and enjoy the Best Week Ever- tonight at 11 and all weekend long (when VH1 is re-re-replaying Live 8 for the 32nd time, that is.) Have a good one.

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