Tuesday Morning Quick Hits:




Pink Floyd donates entire 1343% increase in sales to charity. Further proof they are gods.

Backstreet Boys
tickets not selling, despite low prices and 3-for-2 deals; "it is starting to look like a Spinal Tap tour". No it’s not guys, Spinal Tap played their own instruments.

fan catches three foul balls in 15 minutes, will start at shortstop for Pirates tonight

thinks that the Governator is considering a run at the White House in
. In related news, no one at the AFP has ever read the US
Constitution. Also, Schwarzenegger urges global warming action, as well as the killing of Sarah Connor.

pukes on the floor of his own restaurant after he ‘ate too
much’. Restaurant staff discusses selling vomitus on eBay. Speaking of puke, I too puked this morning– but it had to do with Timberlake  being considered for the role of Two-Face in the next Batman film.

Members of deviant sect arrested in Malaysia. You don’t understand Islam, I do, said Tom Cruise.

Editorial suggests that "War of the Worlds" serves as preparation for
an inevitable disaster.
No word yet on whether "Herbie: Fully Loaded"
will prepare us to be ridden by Lindsay Lohan.

Live 8 Quick recap:

1) "Africans puzzled by Live 8 but hope for change."
Sometimes, the headlines just write themselves.

2) Coldplay’s Chris Martin (who must have been intoxicated on mKabbalah
water) called the Live 8 concert "the greatest thing that’s ever been
organized in the history of the world."

3) The performers enjoyed lobster and took home £7,000 goodie bags. Wow
how the hell could they even carry 7,000 pounds!?!?!? I mean sure, this
article is more about how the celebrity ‘guests’ acted like spoiled
rotten brats but I think the real story here lies behind their
super-human strength.

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