Angelina Jolie adopts an Ethiopian orphan. Oh really? Well, if you call within the next 30 minutes to adopt me, Ms. Jolie. We’ll even throw in a FREE Sport Illustrated Football Phone! Operators are standing by…(the time is now)
London gets the 2012 Olympics. France surrenders.
Colonel Mustard, in the senior citizen’s center, with a candlestick.
Britney wants to rush a new album to stores cause
Cletus Federline has spent all her money.
Prince Albert admits he had a child with a stewardess, also admits it would have been better to put it in her can…
Martha Stewart claims her prison nickname was ‘M. Diddy’ after constructing a lace-lined escape tunnel using a single punch ladle.