Wednesday Quick Hits: Lets go start a fight!

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Connery_1

Sean Connery decides to back-out of his biography deal . I guess we’ll know the juicy details of his affair with Trebek’s mother.

Jessica Alba
admits she gets jealous when her boyfriend is surrounded by circling vultures women and would be willing to initiate a catfight if deemed necessary. Hey, If she charges admission to an "Alba-all-star-catfight" she could rival her "Fantastic Four" film paycheck and viewer ratings.

Mariah Carey’s
has a wardrobe malfunction at concert, and yet she’s still winds up being the "good one" of the Carey family.

When regular people have the flu, they call in sick to work, drink ginger-ale, eat chicken noodle soup and watch The Price is Right. When Brad Pitt has the flu, he
checks into a hospital and it’s front page news at Yahoo. Your life however, will remain unaffected by this late breaking news.

Honda to discontinue production of top sports car NSX. Teenage boys,
manufacturers of staple-on spoilers, fart pipes go into collective panic.

**WARNING: Annoying Tom Cruise headlines below. Feel free to ignore their existence, much like I wish I could ignore his…**

Rob Thomas is shocked by reports he slept with Tom Cruise. Says he prefers Brad Pitt. So do I, Rob…so do I.

Pariscity council passes resolution "never to welcome the actor Tom
Cruise
, spokesman for Scientology and self-declared militant for this
organisation". Quick, someone inform France that "Mission Impossible" is just a mooooovvvie and that Tom Cruise was only "acting" like a tough guy. Then show them "Jerry Maguire", because it may be his pansiest role yet, which you know, should go over well with the French.

…get it?

cause they are pansies…Pansies I say! What? What you going to do France? Surrender? I thought so.

And now for a message to Tom Cruise from Alton Brown.

***please note that the submitter of this blog is 52.3% French and is by law allowed to openly mock them***