Afternoon Quick Hits: Van sex and train wrecks

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Teri_hatcher

P. Diddy will host the 2005 VMA’s. His opening monologue is expected to be one part Chris Rock and two parts horrifying train wreck.

Brittany Murphy has signed on to star in ads for Jordache jeans. Finally, a role she can handle.

Jane Fonda is taking a cross-country bus tour to oppose the war in Iraq in a bus fueled by "vegetable oil." Um, seriously? Does that actually work? If so, I think we’re two seconds away from declaring war on Wesson.

Teri Hatcher likes to have sex in a van parked in her driveway. Man, that is one desperate housewife. Get it? Get it? Desperate housewife? Get it? Kill me.

More and more video game developers are creating titles for Christian gamers. Next up: Grand Theft Auto: Nazareth. Meanwhile, Jewish gamers are still stuck playing their old Sonic The Rabbi games.

Kevin Federline missed his son’s first birthday. But don’t be mad, he was really, really busy that day. He had to um… tan. And, um… watch TV. And uh… hey! Nachos are done!

A guy who claimed he had a summer romance with Jennifer Aniston in 1984 is auctioning off her old love letters, notes, pictures, and other memorabilia. It’s all part of his plan to discourage women everywhere from having premarital summer sex ever again.

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