Friday Morning Quick Hits

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Brad Pitt ans Angelina Jolie visit Canadian dinosaur museum. Fail to find petrified remains of Jennifer Aniston.

Tom Cruise says that he never claimed to be a reincarnated Scientology prophet, as that would just be silly. Unlike Scientology…

Boy invents hamster powered cell-phone charger. Note the conspicuous
absence of the words "Richard Gere brand gerbil-powered anal butt-plug".

There she goes. Miss  America. Leaving Atlantic City after 84 years, does not pass go, does not collect $200.

David Wells, who uses natural supplements like pizza and beer to bulk up, wants Rafael Palmeiro to take a lie detector test.

Red Sox forced to delay start of tonight’s game because the field was
damaged by all of the senior citizens walkers and wheelchairs at the
Rolling Stones concert.

And now for maybe the worst "news" story ever courtesy of The Sun. Marilyn Manson speaks out about Harry Potter’s "unacceptable" use of witchcraft.