Wednesday Morning Quick Hits



Pamela Anderson files restraining order against deranged fan, unaware he’s the only one watching her new T.V. show.

Laura Bush to appear on ABC’s Extreme Makeover Home Edition. President sees chance to use bullhorn again. Cheney rumored to appear on FOX’s My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss.

TV writers stage protest over mandatory product placements interfering with their Nobel prizewinning tit jokes.

After this summer’s success of re-made movies…..get ready for Fraggle Rock: The Movie!

Your wife tries to sell your £100k , 35ft luxury yacht at a knock-down price. Do you a/ Negotiate a price you both agree on b/ Get an independent assessment, or c/ Use an axe to smash open valves below the water line to sink the boat.

You can raise their tuition, you can even make parking a nightmare, but you never, ever, kick their beloved 77- year old homeless guy off campus.

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