Wednesday Morning Quick Hits (Take 1)

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Drphil

Someone started a petition to keep horrible show "The Comeback" on HBO.
Signatures stall at the 3,200 level, as that’s the total number of people
who’ve ever watched the show.

Paris Hilton
‘s ex-fiancee calls her, "The most incredible woman I’ve
ever met in my life."
In other news, a study finds that billionaire heirs
are incredibly sheltered.

Like herpes, Jimmy Kimmel is probably going to be with us until we die

Peter Jackson officially moves onto much bigger rings as he will be producing the live-action Halo movie.  Frodo unavailable for comment, but agrees it looks like a Puma.

Lindsay Lohan suffered minor injuries in her car crash.  Airbags deploy and deflate… again.

Lawsuit filed by suckers bilked into buying into the "Dr. Phil Weight
Loss Plan
." Next lawsuit will come from those who bought all those
bottles of "Dr. Phil’s Super Miracle Grow Hair in a Bottle."

Dr. Phil and Shaq to appear together in Scary Movie 4.  There is nothing good about any part of that sentence.