Thursday Morning Quick Hits (Part 1)

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Rap_idiot_1

Charlotte Church has shoes stolen off her feet. Crowd decides to follow the gourd instead.

Further demonstrating why it is a nation to be admired, Canada bans Martha Stewart.

Eminem files law suit over ring tones. Will the real Slim Shady please answer your phone

Governor Schwarzenegger triples amount people can win if assaulted by paparazzi. Papa Smurf still free to do as he pleases.

Country singer who specializes in drinkin’ and cheatin’ songs is inspired to quit drinkin’ after learnin’ girlfriend is pregnant. Drinkin’ resumes after learnin’ girlfriend was cheatin’ and the baby ain’t his. The songs write themselves

Jason Alexander first heard about his newest show’s cancellation while thumbing through USA Today. Continues to comfort himself by crying softly into pillow made of Seinfeld residual checks.