Wednesday Morning Quick Hits

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Woman loses 75 lbs for a chance to dance with Bono.  Apparently the only dance move Bono knows is that ‘lasso’ one.

Dominic Monaghan believes the Beatles are bigger than Jesus, Buddha, or Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Dumbest Quote Ever In the History and Future Of Mankind, courtesy of
Ashton Kutcher: "I hope the love that we share can resonate around the
world so that someday I can hear its echo." The Sun is there.

In order to stay relevant, TV Guide releases new full-color larger
format mag
. Publisher apparently hopes to compete with arch-nemesis,
the TV Guide Channel. 

Stevie Wonder hopes his new album will inspire our government to treat
people with more respect. Says he hasn’t seen enough of that lately.

Punkers unite, no, wait, Punkers fight. Still no definition of a "low-rent fake mockney two-bob runt".

Marilyn Manson launches his own perfume. Will not smell like teen spirit.

Pierce Brosnan complains about being dumped as James Bond, insists his demand for $40 million had nothing to do with it.

There
once was a poet named Kim, whose writings fell over the rim, He jumped
in the water, thought he was an otter, too bad he couldn’t swim.

  PETA
asks Aussies to stop sheep torture because they are afraid that some
stool sheep will rat them out and spill the beans on their evil world
domination scheme.