Steve Guttenberg’s MOVIE REVIEWS!

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Steve3_1 Hey guys!  Good ole’ Gute (pronounced Goot) here.  Just wrapped production of “Mojave Phonebooth.”  This is really the one that’s going to get my career back in the fast lane,  Dom DeLuise’s son is in it!  Look out for it in 2006! 

Its Friday, you know what that means: NEW MOVIES!

STAY

This one looks like it got more twists than Chubby Checker!  A taut, psychological thriller from the director of Monster’s Ball, starring Ewan McGreggor.  Ewan reminds me of a young, well… me.  British, sexy, and one of his biggest roles has been acting alongside robots.  I got two words for you Ewan: Short Circuit!  Remember Johhny Five?  I would have given my life for that robot.  His heart may have been made out of a toaster oven but he was the most loyal friend a man could have.  And not too bad of wing man either!  Reminds me of this time that Tawny Kitaen, me, Johhny Five, and….wait just a second! I almost forgot this was censored!      

NORTH COUNTRY

Oscar is already buzzing around Charlize Theron’s newest movie.  Charlize is never afraid to take risks.  She went straight to the A-list following her amazing transformation in Monster.  I feel like a good parallel to this is was when I did Cocoon.  I was a young Hollywood heartthrob at the time and  I was on fire after Police Academy 2: Citizens on Patrol.  And what did I decide to do next?  Play it safe and reprise my role as Mahoney yet again?  Guaranteed box office gold?  No way! I starred in a movie with Wilford Grimley and Don Ameche and aliens.  But don’t worry, eventually I came back and reprised the rold of Mahoney. Twice.

DREAMER

This is the perfect way to warm your heart right when the weather is getting colder.  A little girl and her horse, nothing more, nothing less.  Throw in everyone’s favorite precocious child actor Dakota Fanning and you got a hit!  Kurt Russell plays her dad.  Kurt and I used to be box office rivals in the mid to late Guties (That’s what I call the Eighties).  I think I had a little more range than Russell.  Three Men and a Baby vs. Overboard in a streetfight.  Me, Danson, and Selleck win easy.  We won’t even use Selleck’s moustache.  Oh, and I got the whole kid’s movie thing down too.  I know what kids love: dogs and dolphins, specifically dogs that befriend dolphins and ride on their backs.  Sound familiar? Of course it does. Does Zeus and Roxanne ring a bell? No? It doesn’t? Really? Hmmm.    

DOOM
They finally turned the revolutionary first person shooter into a movie. Not for the faint of heart, expect a testosterone pumping, blood and guts gore fest.  If you’re looking for something equally as thrilling and a little more family friendly, check out the made for TV Tower of Terror. We may not be trying to close a portal to hell but we’re providing a cute story behind the ride in MGM Studios in Orlando. Kirsten Dunst was in it! Hey Kirsten, if you’re reading this, I haven’t been able to reach you in awhile. I still have the same number. Give me a call if you have some time. I know you’re really busy promoting Elizabethtownand getting ready for another Spiderman but you still have some time for ol’ Gute, right? Well anyway just give me a call back.

That’s all the time we have this week folks! But be sure to check back here for Gute’s Movie Reviews!  Now where’s that paycheck you promised me?