Thursday Morning Quick Hits

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Singer k.d. lang files suit against her former manager, alleging fraud
and theft of millions of dollars, and capital letters from her name.

Martha Stewart
claims she "cannot be destroyed", goes on to add "Luke, I am your father".

Lead singer of the Darkness buys copy of his own album, later demands refund.

Ozzy
to perform for Queen Elizabeth.  Grand finale expected to include biting off Prince Charles’ head and riding his Horse.

Kobe Bryant to be a dad again, claims sex was consensual.

Lindsey Lohan
about to elope with Jared Leto. Because Paris Hilton ran
off with an Olsen twin ex-boyfriend? No, really. May also hit head,
catch amnesia, solve murder, and be replaced by someone else next season.

New mayor elected in Hillsdale, MI. First items on platform include
‘losing virginity’, ‘finding a prom date’ and ‘moving out of mom’s
house’.

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