Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he does not push himself up. He pushes the Earth down.
By now, everybody’s either seen or heard about the Chuck Norris random fact generator. Go to the site and keep on refreshing your browser and you’ll be presented with a seemingly neverending flow of "facts" about your favorite Texas Ranger (named Walker.) It’s hilarious. Look at it now. I just did, and I spit out my coffee when I read "Chuck Norris is like a dog, not only because he can smell fear, but because he can piss on whatever the f*** he wants." That’s good comedy.
But here’s the thing: it’s been done before. Back in April we posted the Vin Diesel random fact generator here on the BWE blog, and at the time I thought it was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I mean "Vin Diesel is the only man to run around the Earth at the equator and kill a wolverine in the same day" made me laugh harder than The Chronicles of Riddick– and that’s saying something.
When the Chuck Norris thing started taking off, I didn’t get it. Why was (in the words of Paul Wall) the internets going nutz? Was it the nostalgia? The moustache? The fact that it wasn’t Vin Diesel. All of these theories make sense… but I think there’s more to it. Searching around the web now, it looks like there are random fact generators for EVERYBODY.
There’s a Jack Bauer random fact generator.
A Jack Thompson random fact generator.
A Mr. T. random fact generator.
A Steven Seagal random fact generator… and god knows how many more.
So why are we eating these up? Well, a wise man… okay, Homer Simpson… once said "It’s funny because it’s true." That was then. Now, in 2006, the opposite is true. It’s funny because it’s not true. Unless of course Chuck Norris’ tears actually do cure cancer. If that’s case, well… you can ignore this post all together.