F*ck You! No, F*ck You!: Britney’s Wild Ride

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F*** You!  No, F*** You!

Tempers flare as Piper and Jason debate the Britney Spears baby-driving controversy.

Piper: I’d like to take a minute to respond to Jason’s post from earlier today. While my blogging colleague seemed to defend the Maternal Pop Star, I firmly disapprove of her actions. Ms Spears has said in her defense that she was protecting her son, but there comes a time in a mother’s life when she has to let go. Yes it’s scary to let your six month old drive the car alone, but he’s never going to learn if he’s sitting on your lap.

Jason: It’s typical of a Britney basher to try to obscure the real issue: photographers taking pictures of celebrity babies. Oh sure, Britney might have put her child’s life in danger, but have you ever thought about Preston’s image? One picture of him throwing up and next thing you know everyone’s all, "Is Preston partying too hard?" He’d never live it down. Would you, Piper, want your baby (or worse, your cats) being trashed in the media and by gossip blogs?!?

Piper: Jason you are so controlling. You never let babies do anything! Have you forgotten what it feels like to be 6 months old and to want nothing more than to drive a Mercedes SLK down the LA freeway? Look kids are going to make mistakes, especially those in the public eye like Preston, but it shouldn’t stop them doing things that normal babies do.

Jason: Preston is not normal, he’s Britney and K-fed’s baby! That’s why he must be protected at all costs. And besides, who are we to make decisions that should be between a mother, her baby, and their bodyguard? When it comes to this issue, you’re just being a backseat driver.

Piper: I commend you on your pun usage–you saw an opportunity and you took it. Nevertheless, I don’t agree that we should leave the child-rearing up to the Federlines. It’s true that Preston is superior to everyday run-of-the-mill babies, but he must never know that or he’ll lose his magical powers. We must keep him away from his famous parents, and in the dark about his capabilities until his 21st birthday when he’ll become a Jedi knight.

Jason: But isn’t Britney protecting him and therefore preventing his slide to the dark side? You’ve got him pod racing before he’s ready for an iPod.

Piper: F*ck you!

Jason: No, F*ck you!

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