(Click on pics for EXCLUSIVE blown-up screen grabs of the full story.)
Holy Couch-Jumping Heterosexual Thetans, Batman!!!
Life & Style Weekly is running a cover story on the demise of the (literally) star-crossed relationship between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes! The ramifications of this news are unthinkable – our very existence might be hanging by only a few fragile threads of sensational tabloid fodder!
Multiple insiders confirmed the story to Life & Style, with one longtime friend of Tomâ€™s saying: â€œTheir relationship is basically over.â€ Another friend adds: â€œThey both agreed that the marriage wouldnâ€™t work and they wanted to end it before they learned to hate each other.â€
The insiders say that Tom, 43, and Katie, 27, plan to keep up the charade of a romance until after their babyâ€™s birth this spring.
Could it really be true? And if so, why in the name of Xenu do we have to find out about this on VALENTINE’S DAY???
UPDATE: We’ve got footage of Oprah telling Tom she’s mad that he lied.