While You Were Gorging Yourself on Chocolate Hearts
- While visiting London, Paris Hilton said she’d like to go to "Celebrity Love Island", a UK reality show she mistook for an actual place. When informed of her misunderstanding, Paris was reportedly crushed that her lifelong quest to rule over a utopian paradise populated by people less intelligent than herself will have to remain a distant fantasy.
- Beyonce Knowles revealed that she once danced naked in a room full of men when her dress accidentally fell off. This of course doesn’t include all the times she’s danced naked in rooms full of record executives, producers, talent agents, strip club patrons and other men who could help make her famous.
- Pamela Anderson says she’s officially boycotting the Kentucky Derby due to their affiliation with PETA-enemy Kentucky Fried Chicken. We think Pam is just jealous because KFC has the only breasts people love more than hers.
- Bruce Willis boldly criticizes Oprah’s handling of the James Frey controversy. Tune in to Oprah next week to see Bruce Willis get a very stern talking-to.
- Vince Vaughn has reportedly warned hubby Jennifer Anniston to stop talking about ex Brad Pitt so much. I know I always hate it when I start dating someone new and all they can ever talk about is how their last boyfriend was "Sexiest Man Alive" this and "Hollywood’s Hottest Hunk" that. SO annoying.
- Mariah Carey is blaming her dress for her imperfect appearance at the Grammy Awards. Meanwhile the dress shot back, "Oh yeah? Why don’t YOU try stuffing 140 pounds of cellulite-ridden celebrity diva into YOUR body!"