Best Week Ever takes a look at celebrities’ upcoming movies to determine whether or not they’re making good career choices.
Next Project: Employee of the Month, 2006
Synopsis: Two slacker Costco workers vie for the honor of dating hot girl. Costars Dax Shepard and Dane Cook.
Career Move: Bad. Between Dukes of Hazard, and the Pizza Hut commercials, Jessica Simpson is securing a target audience of 14 year old boys. And as 14 year old girls know, they’re a fickle bunch. Oh, Shannon Elizabeth knows this too.
Next Project: The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford, 2006
Synopsis: Robert Ford joins Jesse James’s gang, only to become resentful of the legendary outlaw and hatch a plan to kill the fastest gun in the West. Co-stars Zooey Deschenal, Casey Affleck
Career Move: Good. The long, erroneous title gives this movie instant street cred. It’s almost like reading a book. Then there’s the indie hipsters who double as his co-stars. It makes the film appear smaller, and more like a labor of love for Pitt even though it’s pretty much about a hot guy on a horse.
Next Project: The Good Shepard, 2006
Synopsis: The tumultuous early history of the Central Intelligence Agency is viewed through the prism of one man’s life. Directed by Robert Deniro. Co stars Matt Damon, Robert Deniro.
Career Move: Inconsequential. Despite her string of dreadful, romance-in-war-torn-country flops, the woman’s got a hotness quotient that nullifies any poor choice, humiliating comment or illicit affair she could ever have.
Project: You Me And Dupree, 2006
Synopsis: A best man (Wilson) stays on as a house-guest with the newlyweds, much to the couple’s annoyance. Co stars, Kate Hudson, Matt Dillon, Bill Hader.
Career Move: Precarious. Matt Dillon and new SNL member Bill Hader promise a solid buddy backdrop, but Kate Hudson is a career killer. Another Wilson, another ‘Alex and Emma’.
Project: Lonely Hearts, 2006
Synopsis: Two homicide detectives track a murderous pair known who lure their victims through the personals. Co stars John Travolta, Salma Hayek
Career Move: Good. Here’s why: co-star John Travolta. While let hasn’t starred in a hit big-budget movie ever, he’s still on top of the food chain. Here’s why: he’s down with John Travolta.
Synopsis: After Mission Impossible III, which he’s already shot, Cruise has nothing scheduled for production.
Career Move: Great. It’s quiet time, Tom.