While You Were Enjoying Your Day Off
- Kevin Federline thinks the media’s portrayal of the way he acts is "unfair." However, he agrees that the media’s take on his horrible rapping abilities is "dead on."
- Donald Trump wants Martha Stewart to "take responsibility" for the failure of her Apprentice. Martha continues to blame her stockbroker Peter Bacanovic.
- The Rolling Stones played a concert for a million fans in Rio, resulting in record-long bathroom lines when Mick announcedit was time to "play something off our newest album."
- Nick Lachey wants spousal support, and has requested a share of Jessica’s earnings as well as "miscellaneous jewelery and other personal effects." The court was then forced to explain to Nick that he won’t be able to keep Jessica’s breasts in the divorce, no matter how hard he tries.
- The new James Bond, Daniel Craig, got his two front teeth knocked out on the set. Critics who argued that Craig was too prissy to be the next Bond smugly call their friends and say, "See. I told you so."
- Chris Robinson was allegedly caught cheating on wife Kate Hudson with a "homely brunette" long-haired hippie. Brother Rich Robinson named the Number 1 suspect.