While you were enjoying your day off, we were enjoying our day on:
- John Legend is "playing the sex angle up a little bit." JFK would approve.
- Lindsay Lohan snubbed Kimberly Stewart at a recent party. Jimmy Carter mediated, and all is well.
- Keira Knightley hates her boobs, just like Mary Todd Lincoln.
- Simon Cowell is a total liar, but Gerald Ford pardoned him.
- Brokeback Mountain won four BAFTAs (British Academy Film Awards) last night. George W. Bush said now he totally has to see it.
- Madonna pats herself on the back for doing something Eleanor Roosevelt could do with one hand tied behind her back.