WHILE YOU WERE LOOKING PRESIDENTIAL

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Madonna10azWhile you were enjoying your day off, we were enjoying our day on:

  • John Legend is "playing the sex angle up a little bit." JFK would approve.
  • Lindsay Lohan snubbed Kimberly Stewart at a recent party. Jimmy Carter mediated, and all is well.
  • Keira Knightley hates her boobs, just like Mary Todd Lincoln.
  • Simon Cowell is a total liar, but Gerald Ford pardoned him.
  • Brokeback Mountain won four BAFTAs (British Academy Film Awards) last night. George W. Bush said now he totally has to see it.
  • Madonna pats herself on the back for doing something Eleanor Roosevelt could do with one hand tied behind her back.