Is K-Fed the Center of the Universe?

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If an alien came to earth to study our culture, it could learn everything it needs to know by studying Kevin Federline. Here’s why:

  • He’s multicultural: Nothing says "21st century" than a white guy who celebrates Brazilian culture by rapping like Snoop Dogg and meanwhile has children by both a blond pop starlet and an African American actress.
  • He’s shunned traditional gender roles: These days, more and more people have broken away from conventional notions of what it is to be a man, and Federline is a prime example of this. Not only did he reportedly let Britney buy her own engagement ring, but she is also the primary wage earner. Additionally, he is a professional dancer who has long, braided hair.

  • He broke a song on the web: In a time when the music industry is struggling to make sense of the Internet, Federline’s "PopoZao" was heard by millions within hours of its release on Yahoo music and other websites. He also has ably used MySpace as a promotional tool, which as you know is all the rage these days.
  • He’s married to a former Disney kid who grew up to be a star: You can’t get much more American than Mickey Mouse, and you can’t find a show that has produced more stars than the New Mickey Mouse Show. In addition to Mrs. Federline, the show produced Christina Aguilera, Keri Russell, Justin Timberlake, J. C. Chasez, and Ryan Gosling.
  • He was a
    reality-TV star: Federline perfectly tapped into the zeitgeist as both star and executive producer of the show Britney & Kevin: Chaotic. The show’s great innovation was having its stars actually doing the filming as well as performing.

Let’s face it: If we get a visit from an extraterrestrial, K-Fed is going to get probed.

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