While You Were Mailing Your Rent Check

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  • Gandolfini
    James Gandolfini
    has made the decision to pretend that he got fat for a role. I respect that.
  • Madonna has been added to the Coachella festival lineup. Indie rock nerds act ironically excited, while Madonna fans openly wonder what the Coachella festival is.
  • Travis The Bachelor is a bachelor again after giving Sarah the boot. I guess what happened in Paris stayed in Paris.
  • Courtney Cox Arquette is coming back to TV.  After Joey and The Comeback, she wants to prove that bad shows come in 3′s.
  • Bon Jovi is baffled by Jennifer Lopez’s musical success. You know, if it wasn’t for that head of hair I’d say Bon Jovi is a pretty okay guy.
  • Crash features the most curse words out of this year’s Best Picture nominees. Though they’re mostly spoken by people leaving the theater asking, "Wait… that f***ing movie is up for best picture???"