While You Were Thinking It’s Still February

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  • Kanyelive
    Two security guards were shot at a Kanye West show in England, by a fan trying to get in without a ticket.  Just what Kanye’s ego needs – the knowledge that people would commit murder to see him perform. 
  • Sex symbol Jessica Alba is reportedly threatening to sue Hugh Hefner for giving readers the idea that she appears nude in the issue of Playboy on whose cover she posed for was featured (Ed. note: Thank you to the veritable Deep Throat of the comments sections for this important clarification).  Imagine that, people thinking you might be naked when you’re on the the cover of Playboy!
  • Lindsay Lohan claims that she "has no celebrity friends".  Probably because they’re all her lovers. 
  • The success of Brokeback Mountain has apparently "made gay okay" in Hollywood, which for so long been has been known only for its raging heterosexuality. 
  • Sorry guys, but PoweR Girl and totally desirable babe Lizzie Grubman is off the market.  Guess you’ll have to look elsewhere for the vapid, soulless succubus of your dreams!
  • If you have as much trouble keeping up as I do, click here for a handy trainwreck timeline of Pete Doherty’s wasted life.