Now that the Academy has realized that hip-hop exists, I think it might be time for them to acknowledge some other developments in our culture, the Internet and the screen crawl. They could use these two together to get rid of all those thank-yous that bog down the telecast. Here’s my proposal:
Each nominee from every category gives the Academy a list of all the people they want to thank. The lists would then be posted on the Internet, and during the telecast, while the winners give their speeches, their thank-yous will be on a screen crawl below them. This way everyone gets thanked and maybe the winners would have the chance to make speeches that would be funny, touching, embarrassing, etc. and we’ll have something to talk about the next day other than how boring the show was.