Intervention: Angelina Jolie

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Babies

It’s only because we love you, Angelina, that we’re gathered here today for this intervention. We ask that before you shut us out, you just listen to what we have to say. You’ve been acting, well, different, this past year.  You haven’t gone to work in months. You’ve dropped everything for your boyfriend.You won’t stay in one place; you’re in Paris one day, Cambodia the next. You’re just not the same Angelina we used to know.

We think we know why: first there was Maddox and we supported you on that, then Zaraha came and you promised it was the last one…until you got pregnant. And now we hear you want to adopt two more? Angie, this has gone to far, it’s time to face the fact that you’re ADDICTED TO BABIES.

While the effects may not be as sudden as drugs or booze, babe-a-holism is just as dangerous. Baby addiction is the #1 career killer amongst celebrities over 30. You need to get help. But you don’t have to do it alone. We’re with you 100%, but the first step is hand over the babies. All of them. (whats that in your pocket? baby!)