While You Were Filling Out Your NCAA Tournament Bracket
Vin Diesel wants to sing and dance in a remake of Guys & Dolls. Marlon Brando rolls over in his grave, whispers, "But Vin Diesel sucks."
- Demi & Ashton may be adopting a baby. The couple cites "age" as the reason, meaning that The Kutch just can’t get it up like he used to.
- George Clooney DID NOT write a blog for The Huffington Post. He wants to leave the blogging to the ugly.
- The author of the short story that Brokeback Mountain was based on thinks the movie was robbed at the Oscars, and does not appreciate Crash’s come from behind victory. Because coming from behind was Brokeback‘s thing.
- Courtney Love is headed back to the studio. This marks the first time I’ve ever finished a sentence that starts with "Courtney Love is headed back" with two words other than "to rehab."
- Movie theaters may ask federal authorities to jam cell phone reception in movie theaters. If this does go through, pricks from coast to coast are already prepared to protest.
- Jay Leno apologizes for not being funny. It’s about time.