WHILE YOU WERE EXPECTING PIPER

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Kazaam

  • According to a poll taken by Diva magazine, Angelina Jolie is the woman most lesbians want to go to bed with. She was also the woman most babies wanted to have as their mommy in Starving Refugee magazine. 
  • The Beastie Boys say that though they have nothing against Three 6 Mafia, Dolly Parton was robbed at the Oscars. And with that statement, they are now officially old men. 
  • Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock are in negotiations to revive the Speed franchise. This time they will be on a Segway with a bomb and a disabled gyroscope. 
  • Shaquille O’Neal is expecting a baby girl, and his wife Shaunie Nelson is expecting a really painful delivery. You know, because Shaq is so big. 
  • Yoko Ono has approved of a Pay-Per-View seance that will attempt to contact John Lennon. This will be a good test as to whether instant kharma really will get you.
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