While You Were Wishing You Could Go Drink With Your Unemployed Friends
Brad Pitt’s family wants him to marry Angelina Jolie immediately. You know, so he can finally make an honest woman out of her.
- Gabe Kaplan approves of the upcoming Ice-Cube version of Welcome Back Kotter. He also approves of anything else that will get his name back in Variety.
- Marilyn Manson is teaming up with Keanu Reeves for a new movie. Whoa.
- The Strokes and the Beastie Boys have both played surprise shows at South By Southwest. I don’t have a joke here… I just really wish I was there.
- Were Pete Doherty and Daniel Radcliffe separated at birth? If so, I can’t wait to see the next Harry Potter movie: Harry Potter And The Quest For A Fresh Vein.
- Nick Cannon is getting trashed by his ex-girlfriend, Christina Milian. I believe the appropriate response to this story is a hearty "Ohhh snap!" Isn’t it?