Pete Wentz is on the Paris Plan



Fall Out Boy’s Pete Wentz has been an unlikely subject of media attention lately, gracing everything from gossip blogs to the New York Times. While it may seem like the quiet guitarist fell accidentally into the public eye, I have a hunch he’s enlisted in the Paris Hilton Twelve Step Program to super-stardom. Proof after the jump…

Here’s what Pete Wentz has learned from Paris so far:

1) Make a Splash on the internet using a Sidekick and genitalia: Wentz’s revealing sidekick pictures conflated Hilton’s infamous sex tape over-exposure with her equally infamous sidekick hack–to create the perfect emergence from the shadow of his band. Paris Model: Hacked sidekick/sex tape

2)Play the Victim:  After his revealing pictures were scattered across the internet, he released a statement about how hurt he was as a result of the "total invasion of privacy." Paris Model: statement about how painful the sex tape was for her family.

3) Let everyone know you’re in on the joke: Soon after the statement, Wentz countered the serious statement by appearing on TRL wearing a t-shirt that read: Team Naked Pix  Paris Model: Appearance on SNL

4)Guest Star on Teen dramaTV guide announced today that Wentz will guest star as Peyton’s love interest on an upcoming episode of One Tree Hill, to solidify a teenage demographic sorely needed to become a super celebrity. Paris Model: guest starred on Veronica Mars.

Pete still has a ways to go before he completes his twelve steps to super-stardom. Here’s what we can expect from him in the near future if he continues on this steady course: friendship with Tara Reid(5) a reality show (6), a reality show starring his mom(7) a questionably abusive relationship(8) book deal(9) public feud with Fall Out Boy (10) an engagement to a Greek heir(11) a rebound relationship with a Greek heir(12). No word on whether he’ll conquer optional step 13- one night stand with Tom Sizemore.

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