The world’s most famous "Wait, how did that guy get that girl?" dude Wilmer Valderrama (slightly ahead of runner-up, Adam Duritz) went on the Howard Stern Show this morning and spilled his guts about EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted to know about his sexual conquests. Among the highlights:
–Lindsay Lohan is one of the best girls he’s ever had.
–Ashlee Simpson is incredibly loud.
–The first girl he dated in Hollywood was Ariana Richards… you may remember her as the kid in Jurassic Park.
–On a scale from 1-10, he gives Jennifer Love Hewitt an 8.
–Speaking of the number 8, Fez claims to be "slightly bigger" than 8 inches.
–He got with Mandy Moore when she guested on That 70s Show.
–He’s videotaped himself in bed on more than one occasion, but he’s erased the tapes so they wouldn’t leak onto the internet.
– He’s had two women at once.
–And completely unrelated to all of this, he recently purchased Chuck Norris’ old house.
You know, back when I was a teenager I would say that I’d trade the rest of my life for the rest of Hugh Hefner’s life. I’d like to update my wish. Instead, I’d like to trade the rest of my life for a week of Wilmer Valderrama’s life. It actually doesn’t sound like that bad of a deal.