• EXPENSIVE TRIP TO BURGER KING: George Beane‘s. He bought four burgers at Burger King and his credit card was accidentally charged $4,334.33. Worth every penny.
  • DISCO IRONY: The Village People Cop. He was arrested after he disappeared while drug and gun charges against him were pending. What next?  They didn’t really enjoy the YMCA? The Construction Worker doesn’t know his way around a tool box? The Leather Man is actually straight?
  • ALTERNATIVE TO ADOPTING MORE BABIES: Brad Pitt. He is set to narrate Design: e2, a series on PBS about environmentally friendly architecture.
  • BLACK FLAG SINGER IN KING ARTHUR’S COURT: Henry Rollins. He says that wants to finish his career as a low-budget Mark Twain. Hal Holbrook better get a "Search and Destroy" tattoo and fast!
  • NOT GLIB BAND: Living Things. The band’s singer, Lillian Berlin, grew up with ADHD and is telling audiences all over the US that medicating children for behavioral problems does not work. Tom Cruise would be so pleased.
  • NOT-BITTER MOVIE STAR: Russell Crowe. He says about being snubbed by Sesame Street: "If they want to turn down an Oscar-nominated star to appear in front of millions of kids then they can, but I’m not bitter – we’ll still watch the show." Goldenfiddle isn’t convinced.
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