While You Were Thinking of Excuses Not To Go To The Gym Tonight

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  • Hasselhoff_1
    David Hasselhoff
    has been ordered not to come within 150 yards of his ex-wife. If it happens, he’ll be forced to run in slow motion until he reaches the court ordered distance.
  • Shakira and Wyclef Jean are set to perform on tomorrow night’s episode of American Idol. Fans are already attempting to vote Wyclef off.
  • Kate Moss sees Lindsay Lohan as a younger version of herself. Though chances are Lindsay will be photographed doing coke long before she turns 32.
  • Matthew Perry is the reason there hasn’t been a Friends reunion. He’s too busy waiting by the phone for a call about The Whole Eleven Yards.
  • Sean Penn has a plastic Ann Coulter doll that he abuses when he’s angry. It’s like a Barbie doll, but far more obnoxious.
  • Kid Rock and his bodyguards had a scuffle with a photographer and stole the dude’s camera. Proving once again that Kid Rock(‘s bodyguards are) tough!
  • In an effort to remove cigarettes from the hands of The Beatles for the re-release of Capital Albums Volume 2, record company execs erased two of Ringo Starr’s fingers. Execs argue that when Ringo plays it sounds like he only has 8 fingers anyway, so no harm no foul.