While You Were Loving Spring

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  • Sheridan
    Morrissey
    says he hates Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie’s, face. He’s more of an ass man.
  • Jessica Simpson looks up to Angelina Jolie. And in an effort to be more like her, she plans on stealing Brad Pitt away from his girlfriend.
  • Dick Cheney tackles Fox News, bunker busters, and Karl Rove in his stand-up comedy debut. And somehow it’s still funnier than Free Ride.
  • Nicollete Sheridan has selected her wedding gown for her upcoming nuptuals with Michael Bolton. Much like Bolton himself, the dress can only be appreciated ironically.
  • Brokeback Mountain has been banned in the Bahamas. Because they’re intolerant of cowboys. What, why else do you think they’d ban it?
  • Lindsay Lohan’s maybe-boyfriend Leonardo DiCaprio was caught with a Gisele lookalike "snogging like mad." Upon hearing the news Lindsay said it was fine, but admitted that if she ever found out he was kissing somebody else she’d be pissed.