• CavallariDISCOURAGING HEADLINE: "Nuke plant gets new locks after keys lost." (Reuters)
  • ENCOURAGING MUSIC NEWS: Radiohead’s new album nears completion. (Rolling Stone)
  • GOOD NEWS FOR BAD ACTORS: Kristin Cavallari lands a role in an upcoming movie. (MTV)
  • BAD NEWS FOR REPO MEN: Fearsome rap mogul Suge Knight has filed bankruptcy.  (Yahoo! News)
  • DISABLED LIST I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ON: British soccer star misses match after dropping scalding water on his genitals.  (Mirror)
  • REPUBLICAN DREAM COME TRUE: San Francisco is sliding into the ocean. (Coastsider)
  • POOR VIAGRA ALTERNATIVE: A female teacher had sex with a 13 year-old student 28 times in one week! (The Smoking Gun)
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