CruiseWatch ’06: It All Starts With the Germans

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cruise-motorcycle.jpgThere’s a reason we’ve been talking about Tom Cruise so much lately – sheer anticipation. Last year this interview in Spiegel Magazine marked the beginning of his War of the Worlds Magical Mystery Publicity Tour, stopping along the way to jump on couches, pop wheelies on motorcycles, take a woman, suck her face in public as often as possible, fake impregnate her, pop the question and teach Today’s Matt Lauer some very important lessons about science, medicine and the meaning of the word “glib”. Whew! That’s why Tom Cruise is hardest-working Heterosexual-Scientology-Evangelist-Pharmaceutical-Expert in show biz!

Anyway, if Mr. Cruise hopes to outdo himself on this year’s M:I3 publicity tour, he’s really gonna have to step it up and bring his A game. Luckily, he’s off to a good start this week, once again launching the crazy campaign in Germany with an appearance on the talk show Wetten Dass (mit Motorcycle!), his confession to Parade about his abusive father, solidified marriage plans, quirky labor demands including a pacifier for Katie, and the imminent arrival of the anti-christ his new baby.

What else do you think he could have in store for us this time arround? Leave your guesses in the comments section.