We hope you’re sitting down, because we’re about to break some really big news: Katie Couric quit the Today Show this morning. Okay, you know about it but have you seen it? If you think it’s awkward to quit in your boss’s office, wait till you see someone do it on live TV. 

Also after the jump, find out about THE COURIC EFFECT and how Katie’s choice to quit the show has created a catastrophic ripple effect throughout the world.

The Katie Couric Effect

Katie Couric leaves the Today Show to be an anchor on CBS. Meredith Viera will reportedly replace her on the Today Show after receiving a $40 million dollar offer from NBC. Which leaves an opening for a host on the View.  If the View chooses to replace Meredith with a strong minded, family-oriented anchor who can stand up to Star Jones, they may want to consider headstrong politico Hillary Clinton. If Clinton steps down from her political career, the senate and husband Bill may want to replace her with politically-outspoken and far sexier actress Sharon Stone. But if Stone drops out of erotic thrillers, we think Bo Derek would make an adequate replacement, only who will support John Corbett while he promotes his new album? He’ll have to bring his good friend, Jes on tour. She’ll have to quit her job at the post office, leaving the 34th street office short-staffed so that little Jimmy’s college applications never arrive on time and we miss out on the greatest American president that would have saved us from an alien invasion. But go Katie, follow your heart. It’s more important that you’re happy.

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