Whitney Houston Is the New Rick James

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Wbag2Whitney Houston has been all over the tabloids these past few weeks, with seperate reports of both her raging crack habit and penchant for sex-toy-enhanced lesbian loving. But who can believe the gossip rags these days? Luckily, CRACKED has gotten their hands on the official press release, a missive from Whitney herself. And you know what? From now on, she’s only getting high on life and free cocaine.