While You Were Waxing Lohan
- Guy Richie’s love of judo really annoys wife Madonna. Meanwhile, Madonna’s love of being a painted-up old whore who refuses to let it go "sorta miffs" husband Richie.
- Take a break from Googling yourself and your exes for a moment, and Google the secrets of The Da Vinci Code. Or if you’re bored with that, try doing a search for "shameless corporate cross-promotional whoredom".
- Well I’ll tell you what I don’t want, what I really really don’t want: a Spice Girls reunion.
- Stephen "Born-Again" Baldwin is reportedly so angry about a porn store opening in his neighborhood that he’s going to teach those godless heathens a little lesson about worldliness by selling his "Christ-like" $3.4 million mansion.
- In this month’s Esquire magazine, Dave Chappelle continues sitting in the corner of his padded room, babbling on and on about why he left his show 12 years ago.
- "Magician" David Blaine is planning yet another attention-seeking public "magic" stunt in his unending quest to pull the affection his father clearly never gave him out of a hat.